Mid-September – Red Flag Up

Today, in both my current and home time zones, marks a year since my final experience of domestic violence with my ex. Today marks a year since the moment I realized I could have died and, had I died, I could’ve died incomplete…and unhappy with the way things were. I could have died unhappy with my relationship, with my job, with the friends I had, and with the fact that there were many things I still wanted to do but hadn’t because I was always putting the happiness and/or expectations of others before my own. I could have died settling for less than I deserved, and being less than I was created for. As a result of this realization, over this past calendar year I have made it a point to do only the things I wanted to do or that spoke to my heart.

From experiencing the pure joy that came from simple things like a museum visit or a paint and wine class, spending time and volunteering with my daughter, or attending events & parties I wanted to go to without being made to feel obligated to invite anyone, I gained the confidence to put action to even bigger desires. I then created my website as a vehicle to put my story and myself out there for the world to see, as part of my goal to inspire others. Currently, I’m living out two lifelong dreams of traveling Southeast Asia and living abroad. I’ve always wanted to do that…and I’m doing it, right now. There is so much more I haven’t even mentioned yet; they are all things that I consistently put off while attempting to live the type of life society says is ideal.

I was also afraid to come out of that matrix not knowing how to make the things I wanted come to fruition, as they were not in the paradigm that I was accustomed to and understood. The moment I began to live from the heart for myself and as myself the world opened up for me; getting in alignment was the key that unlocked all of this and everything I’ve wanted has come. Whatever hasn’t, I know is coming. Circumstances changed in my favor and continue to do so. I’ve gained knowledge about myself and the world around me I never dreamed I’d hold. My greatest struggle has been deciding what’s next, as I learn to go with the flow.

With the friends I had and the relationship I was in I can see why my life was so different and so out of alignment with what I truly wanted. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” goes the saying attributed to Jim Rohn as I’ve heard it. This does not just apply to the financial success or outer reputations of your friends, it applies to their inner states and character as well. So, to increase my wins I increased my losses and let go of those around me whose lives, inner, and outer states of being did not match my own. I opted to go it alone (though not completely, for there has been an amazing truth steady by my side, every step of the way). Doing so has made all the difference.

Mid-September 2015 to mid-September 2016 was one of the worst years I’ve experienced. I crashed from the high I had reached the year before, due to all the dead weight I had taken on in the form of relationships, other people’s problems, and negative energies. From mid-September 2016 to now, mid-September 2017, I’ve experienced what has truly been one of the best years of my life. None of this would have been possible with him. None of this would have been possible with any of the people or things I let go, but it was all possible with the Universe and myself.

Empowered, I can sense my continuous growth from within and am steadily moving forward towards all the beauties of life that are in front of me. This journey of self discovery has opened my mind, my eyes, my heart, and my soul, and I am so ready to continue sharing in hopes that all who share in my story can also share in my bliss. Here’s to another year, as well as a lifetime, of fulfilling my purpose and being truly happy from within. Thank you for joining.

…I’m ready now.

*Music by: Seekae – Reset Head